This is NOT a New Year's Resolution Post

 This isn't about the New Year, really, it isn't.  It merely happens to coincide, is all.  It is in spite of the New Year.  Yeah.  That's it.

My kids always seem to sort of 'adopt' a nice person of the grandparent age group as their special friend.  I have no control over this, as it just seems to happen without my encouragement or discouragement.  My kids love the elderly people around them!  Miss Dottie across the street was that friend since we moved to Cincinnati.  After she passed away, they were without that special non-related grandparent-type friend for a little while.  (With the exception of our friend in Mobile, Dr. Joe, who, according to Lydia, apparently lives in ice cream parlors, but not the one near our house.)  There was one particular lady at the 'elderly ladies' table during doughnut time at church who had her eye on Miss Lydia for a while.  Miss B (Beverly) called Lydia over one Sunday morning and ever since she has been Lydia's special non-related grandparent-type friend.  She brings Lydia bee-related presents (you know, for Miss "B") and gets hello and goodbye hugs from her every Sunday and all special events at church.  

I was sharing something with Miss B about the kids one Sunday morning and she said something that I just can't get out of my head.  She has five adult kids, but she has no memories of them as little kids.  She loves them and loves the people they have become, but she doesn't remember any of the little goofy details of her kids being two years old, like Lydia.  I know this is a natural progression of life, as there are many things that I don't specifically remember about Archie being two, unless I am reminded by something that I wrote down, or a video or picture I took.  Then I remember.  There are events that happen that I think will never be forgotten because they are so darned cute, but in reality, they are forgotten eventually.  I am focused on eleven-year-old Archie and not so much on two-year-old Archie anymore and need to be in the here-and-now.  Some of those two-year-old cute behaviours and things said in that cute, little kid way slip away.  

The next Sunday we weren't at church due to the entire family coming down with the Demonic Flu.  The adults in the house had it worse than the kids.   We missed all the fun Christmas stuff at Church and in the community and we both felt miserable during Christmas.  The dinner I made was horrendous and I didn't even cook the Christmas turkey until after Christmas because I just couldn't get anything together.  Thankfully a couple of friends brought food to us, because we were bed-bound for a week and out of energy for the next week.  I assume the kids ate the food, because it was gone when the fog lifted.  Then there was the subsequent sinus infection that still has me in its clutches.  All the time at home in bed has had me thinking the past few weeks. That's about all I could do since I had no energy to do much else.  After two full weeks not getting out of my jammies for the entire day I think I am finally done stagnating. 

This record of the mundane details of my life left hanging since last August and before has been giving me feelings of guilt.  So much, in fact, that I have been neglecting to read the blogs of a few friends of mine that I love keeping up with.   Reading their blogs remind me of how much I'd like to write, but just can't muster the creative energy.  I have figured out that I don't want to be like Miss B and forget how funny and cute my little kids are.  I am realizing that perhaps I have spent the past couple of years having expectations that I just can't meet with regard to my blog and lots of other things.  I don't get the same alone time due to my two little kids under five years old that I got with only one little kid and one almost grown kid when we first moved to Cincinnati.  I am tired of feeling guilty about being 'behind' in my record keeping (blog entries) as the unofficial family historian and I want to enjoy the life experiences recorded by my friends far away without being reminded that I am failing in that endeavor myself.  When I earn my seat at the elderly ladies' table at whichever church in whatever place I end up, I want to be able to remember and share some little kid experiences with the young, harried mothers struggling to keep up with their responsibilities.  

Once a week I will write something here.  I think I can commit to that.  Four entries a month, 52 per year...It might not be as detailed and fun to read as my first couple of years were here, but it will be more detailed than the past two years.  I don't want to be so busy documenting that I miss out on life, but I don't want to be so busy in my life that I miss out on remembering the every-day great stuff that happens every week.  

While this might sound all New Year's Resolution-ish, it is not.  It is a result of having too much time to sit and ponder.  I don't even know if anyone is reading this anymore due to my own inactivity.  It doesn't really matter.  Next Christmas, as a present to myself, I want a bound hard copy book of at least 52 entries of this year.  With lots pictures of my kids being the cute, funny kids they are, so I don't forget.