What Kind of Mother Am I?

Yesterday, I decided that I'd like to get out of the house for a bit. Phillip needed to go to Kohls to get some jeans without holes (to be his only pair now) so I thought it would be fun to go with. Of course, this means that both kids have to go too. It turned out to be a mistake all around.

Of course, being the weekend, it's packed out. I was hoping for a shopping cart for Lawrence to sit it, but none were available. We head over to the jeans department where apparently Lawrence DOES NOT want to be. Because I can't hold him for very long in my arms (both babies are becoming quite heavy right now!) I have no choice but to let him run and hope that I can keep up. This worked out splendidly for Lawrence for some time, as he was having a ball running up and down the aisles.

I was tired and so glad when Phillip finally found a winner in the jeans department. Happy Day! Now to stand in the obscenely long line to pay for said jeans. Phillip held Lawrence while Archie and I headed to the back of the store to look at a potential Christmas present for Morgan. Archie suddenly decides that he doesn't want to look at what I'm looking at and could he go back to stand in line with Daddy and Lawrence. Which was fine. He's a pretty responsible kid. Often, he'll ask to check out the toy section (or something else of interest) while I'm in another section of the store. Which is usually fine. And since we had just left Daddy in line, I saw no harm in letting him head to the front of the store without me.

I finished looking and met Phillip still waiting in the checkout line. Archie was nowhere to be seen. Phillip said he hadn't been up there and he thought Archie was with me this whole time. OK...so back to the housewares I go. No Archie. Back to the front. No Archie. By this time, Phillip had paid and was waiting. I was just beginning to panic.

Phillip told a sales associate who quickly spread the word around that he was missing. They asked what he was wearing, and I COULD NOT remember. I had absolutely no idea what my child was wearing so he could be identified by the sales associates looking for him! What is wrong with me? All I could think about is I can't find my child and I can't help anyone identify him because I can't remember what he wore today. What kind of mother am I?

Fortunately Phillip was able to describe him, because I was having trouble even speaking at that point. Props to the Kohls sales associates...they were all over the place looking for him in short order. I was running all over the store. Phillip and Lawrence stayed at the front by the doors in case he showed up. I was absolutely freaking out by this time. I just knew something was terribly wrong having not seen him by now. After what felt like six hours, I made my way back to the front, and there Archie was standing by Daddy. Turns out he was looking for us in the jeans department, not in the check out line, which happened to be right beside the jeans department.

Some mothers would hug their children and squeeze the bejezus out of them, being so happy to see them. Not me. I couldn't have been more relieved, I can tell you. But it was everything I could do to not throttle him then and there. We've gone over what to do if he ever got lost in a store before. He apparently just took his sweet time to begin following procedure. It was either yell at him or cry. I turned around, walked out of the store, and cried. What a miserable day!

It took a long time to get over, and I can say I'm still a little peeved. It'll be a long time before Archie's able to venture by himself in the store, even one aisle over! Perhaps I got what I deserved, letting him wander without me in the store. He has always shown himself to be very responsible even for a boy of eight, so I gave him a bit more freedom. Of course, I realize it was not intentional, and doesn't make him less responsible, but perhaps it shows me as less responsible. So the tether is tied a bit tighter for now.