Fish Out Of Water--I Yam Who I Yam

Fish out of water.  This was the email I got from Phillip a few days ago while he was at work.  No other text, just fish out of water.  I did call to check to make sure all was okay (and it was) but I knew what he meant.  I feel the same way much of the time. 

Don't get me wrong, Cincinnati has been good for us.  Good for our family, good for our relationship, good for wonderful opportunities we've been blessed enough to take advantage of.  It has opened my mind and heart to new ideas as well as reinforcing things of old that I had been forgetting.  It has made me appreciate my familial ties with my in-laws, parents, brother, uncles and aunts.  It's tough being out in the world all alone with three small kids! 

So even with all the good things we have been and are currently experiencing, I still have a feeling of not belonging much of the time.   And I refuse to change who I am to make me fit in.  As Popeye says, I yam who I yam. 

The recent election really brought this idea home for me.  Most of the people I associate with regularly are politically opposite than me.  For instance, I am totally jealous that Kentucky gets Rand Paul as a Senator.  I just love this guy.  Many people I know from Kentucky were not happy with their election results.  (Why is less government and fewer handouts a bad thing???)  Surprisingly, I voted mostly libertarian on election day.  See the reason above in parentheses.  When I hang out with the other Moms for various functions, I'm careful to stay away from all topics political and religious.  Just for the record, I THINK IT STINKS that our health insurance not only costs more for 2011 (almost $400 a year more, not even including our now-higher deductibles, and now-higher co-pays!), but covers less stuff for more money out of pocket than the previous year.  Health care reform, indeed.  Fish out of water.

Many of the people I know here don't practice a particular faith.  Or they are still searching for something.  While Christianity is very important and personal to me, I very much enjoy the company of the non-Christians in my life.  I am a live and let live sort of gal regarding other faiths and religion.  I make it a point not to be pushy and annoying about my religion.  However, if someone asks about my faith, then they will get an honest and thoughtful answer.  It really bugs me that because people have been hurt by other 'christians', that makes it okay to bash my particular brand of faith.  I am painfully aware that some 'christians' are extremely obnoxious and judgmental.  But isn't it obnoxious and judgmental to apply that lable to all people of the Christian faith? 

However, being around the more liberal folk has opened my mind to new concepts, and I have learned a lot.  I have really enjoyed the friendships, even though I don't feel like a kindred spirit, per se.  In fact, I am finding I have less in common with our more mainstream type friends as well.  After all, I voted for very few Republicans or Democrats this term!  Homeschoolers?  Aren't you afraid you might screw up your unsocialized weird kids?  They won't be able to go to college you know!  Homebirth?  Well, I hope you don't kill yourself or your baby!  Baby-wearing, nursing-in-public, long-haired hippie! 

Living in Cincinnati has really made me grow into and feel comfortable in my own skin.  While being out in the world alone is scary, it really makes you put yourself out there.  I always post a link to my blog in emails sent to certain of my homeschool groups.  I always find it helpful when others do the same so I can of check to see if they are the type of person I'd like to get to know better.  And I have very much enjoyed getting to know them!  I don't have much spare time.  I don't want to waste it trying to cultivate a friendship if the other person can't get past the fact that I hate the health care reform.  Incidentally, if you're reading this and you LOVE health care reform, know that I can get past it, and will treasure your friendship, but I WILL think of you every time I write a check for my higher co-pays at doctor's visits! 

To sum it all up, I don't know where I fit.  I don't think Cincinnati is our final destination here on earth.  I think I AM where I'm called to be at this moment in time.  So until my next destination and path is revealed to me, I will proudly remain a fish out of water.  I yam who I yam.