Week One in Mobile--We Worked Hard!

When I got the call about my parents’ house fire, my first instinct was to get in the car then and there and drive as fast as I could to Mobile. However, I was unsure if I would be of help or hindrance, since I came with two children. So I figured I’d wait until Monday, after the adrenaline rush subsided, to check with my parents to see if they needed or even wanted my help. So after much back and forthing, I finally asked my Mom if she would feel better having us there or would she get more done if we stayed in Cincinnati. She said that well, she would feel better having us around.

So Tuesday morning, we hopped in the car and made it to their camper around 8pm. It was Mardi Gras day, so the drive through Mobile was rather harrowing due to the outrageously drunk driver, weaving across all four lanes of traffic. I was afraid to pass him and afraid NOT to pass. Finally a cop with lights flashing pulled up behind him and PASSES RIGHT ON BY! Apparently the police in Mobile have better things to do than to arrest a guy who can hardly keep his vehicle on a four-lane highway!

Other than that, I was surprised at how easy the drive was. I was a bit nervous about traveling by myself with Lawrence. When we travel, Phillip drives when Lawrence gets fussy and I sit in the back and nurse him. So I was unsure how long the drive time would be in this case, since I would have to actually stop to nurse every so-often. But it turns out he slept the vast majority of the trip, and Archie played with him when he wasn’t sleeping. We had a couple of nursing stops, but they didn’t keep us tied up very long. The last thirty minutes were the worst: Lawrence decided he was DONE riding at that point, and we had Weavy McDrunken guy to deal with. But all in all, we couldn’t have asked for an easier drive.

On Wednesday morning, I went to the house to check it out. There were people everywhere in there doing various tasks. The construction folks were there cleaning up debris, the restoration people were there surveying the surviving ‘stuff’ to be taken away for ozone cleaning, the clothes guy was there taking away their clothes to see what could be saved, the electrician, just tons of people. It was good to see so much action going on so quickly.

I have to say, that the weather was just beautiful out, and Lawrence decided he would enjoy it a little more if he stripped down. Keep in mind, that this is the first taste of warm weather we had experienced since early October! The warm sun felt so good!

The first several days were very work-heavy days. I sat at the big dumpster and wrote descriptions of all the items that couldn’t be saved. Lawrence and Archie were super good during this time. Lawrence was happy either with me in the sling or backpack, or sitting in his ‘office’ on a blanket outside close by. Archie played with his cousins, explored and helped get things and otherwise kept himself busy.

The following picture in NO WAY reflects how I feel about my baby (Marty!)…he was sitting near the dumpster because that’s where I was working. But when I walked away and back again, I thought it was an artistically interesting photo opportunity.

One of the pop-up books turned up that Archie likes to read at their house. So he took the opportunity to read it to Lawrence to pass the time!

Here is my Mom…This is real dedication, finishing a quilt before they took all her sewing stuff away. She had a quilt on the Long Arm she was doing for a charitable auction that she wanted to get done. We had to stretch an extension cord from the shop to the house to power her quilt machine and sewing machine. This room was the furthest from the fire, so there was no burn damage to it. It just smelled terrible and had soot all over everything. Her hands were black from working in there when she was done.

So all during the first week I was there, we worked hard. I slept very soundly every night. It was odd, I wasn’t doing anything very taxing, just writing stuff down. But it absolutely wore me out!

People were super nice with meal preparation. Marty, Julie, Pat and Linda, their neighbours, etc. People have made offers of clothing and places to stay. I think my folks had no idea how much they are loved by their neighbours and community before this incident occurred.

I must say that I have learned a lot about what is helpful to others during a difficult experience. A lady went shopping and put a box of groceries in my Mom’s car that was full of staple groceries. She didn’t ask any questions about stuff Mom needed, she just did it. You know, stuff you need every day but you don’t really think about. The people that cooked dinners were immensely helpful. It’s so hard to tell people who want to help in some way what they can do, because it’s so hard to think clearly. It was so helpful when they just DID. The people who offered clothing were very generous, but my parents don’t have anywhere to put any clothes they weren’t actually wearing, so they didn’t feel they could take any that were offered. But the offers were appreciated!

My parents have had some odd comments made also. I guess it’s the people who perhaps mean well, but don’t really know what to say. So they say something really dumb. One lady told Mom that she wished HER house had caught fire because she has too much clutter. And could she put some stuff in the dumpster in their yard? Ha!

So when people go through difficulties, the best thing to say is nothing at all. Just invite them for a meal, or cook one and bring it over. Or put an unasked for bag of groceries in their car. Give them a reassuring hug.

But don’t ask to use their dumpster for your unwanted clutter!